we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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