Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
