You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
