we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize