WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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