Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
