Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
