I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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