He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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