I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
