we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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