i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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