I got chris browned last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The beer is more important than you right now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
