bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
