I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
