My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
