I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
