Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
