apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
