Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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