Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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