return my video game
my shit smells like andre
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
