You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
