I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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