1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
