You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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