guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
