You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
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no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
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as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college