She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it