see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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