you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
