Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
