its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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