I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize