Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
