the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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