the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
