we have officially lost it.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
