so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I cut my penus on the lid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
