The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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