Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
