i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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