You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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