Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
