I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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