Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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