you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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