He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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