I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
