I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
