"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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