I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
