My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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