I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
