Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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