she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
