I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I smell stomach acid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
