Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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