MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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